Blog Archive

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

A black hole.....

A black hole, that you are gradually disappearing into.  Sucked in by the sadness and loneliness and sense of despair, and feeling that there will never again be an escape.  The daily mask gets more and more tiring.  Energy runs out.  Life is hard work, and you wonder if it’ll ever be ok again. If you’ll ever feel like you have the energy to battle on.  Well-meaning people want you to flip the ‘on-off’ switch on your emotions at will, and you just don’t have the strength, so you have to pretend instead. Yet another energy drain, when you feel already so tired.  You wonder if there’s any point…any point in doing anything but hiding away where none of this is needed, and yet you feel incredibly alone…an incredibly cruel catch 22.  This is where I’m at right now, and I know I’ve been here before and come through, but it doesn’t feel like that’s a possibility right now, no matter how much I try and remember that.

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